5 Top Tips for Tricky Employee Conversations
1. Take action as soon as possible.
There are some subjects or employees that make conversations tricky and it is all too easy to delay it whilst you find 101 more “pressing” things to deal with. Unfortunately putting off a difficult discussion with an employee can often lead to escalation of the original issue and of course the issue doesn’t get resolved.
This will inevitably require more of your time to resolve and has the potential to increase the discomfort factor for both yourself and the employee when you do get round to dealing with it.
2. Plan with the end in mind
You have to have this discussion - things can’t go on like this.
- What is the problem?
- Why can’t it go on?
- What would resolution look like?
- How can you achieve this?
- What are the benefits?
3. Create the Right Environment
Whilst you may find this conversation tricky to approach, the employee may feel even more uncomfortable when the topic is initially broached. Whilst the meeting is informal it should be in private and the employee should be made to feel as comfortable as possible; drinks, no interruptions, “can we get together when you’ve finished that?"
4. Be Specific to Focus on the Issue not the Person
Where possible use specific examples which illustrate the issues rather than general statements which are more likely to be debated. Also don’t beat about the bush be absolutely clear what the issue is.
- “I noticed that you were 30 minutes late on Monday and yesterday”
- “your timekeeping is a problem”
- “your accuracy leaves a lot to be desired”
- “staff have mentioned the office smells, have you noticed it?"
- "2 staff members have made a complaint about your body odour"
5. Sum Up
Summarise the meeting including:
- Issue
- Solutions
- Any further action e.g. review dates, notes will be placed on file
Reiterate your expectations and that you hope that following this conversation the issue will be resolved.
When planning your conversation consider your communication style to best get across your message.
Below are some different employee personalities you may recognise and some tips on how to flex your communication style to get the desired co-operation.
1. Carly Complainer
She finds fault, blames everyone else is certain what is wrong but never seems able to correct the situation by herself. Often she has a point - there are real problems — but her complaining is not effective – it is purely to prove someone else is responsible.
When dealing with Carly first, listen and ask clarifying questions. Don’t agree, don’t apologise and don’t become overly defensive or counter-attack because this only causes her to restate her complaints more emotionally. Secondly, as you gather facts, create a problem-solving attitude. Be serious and supportive. Acknowledge the facts. Agree solutions and ensure that Carly is accountable for at least some of the actions
2. Archie Agreeable
Archie is super agreeable, an absolute gem, he’s behind you every step of the way... until action is required, then he backs down or disappears completely. He often promises more than he delivers “I’ll get the report done today.”
Reassure Archie that his work is valued but ask him to be more candid and make it easy for him to be frank: “What part of my plan is okay but not as good as it could be?” Help him avoid making promises that he can’t keep: “Are you sure you can have the sales report by then? How about the end of the week?” Make it clear when you are ready to compromise because you know they will be more than fair.
4. Nigel Know-It-All
Nigel is a true expert in what he does. He knows more about the detail than the rest of the team. He can make others feel stupid through his bull dozer approach and undisguised impatience with differing opinions. He doesn’t need or want any help and he certainly doesn’t want to change.
You will need to do your homework for a tricky conversation with Nigel or he is likely to be dismissive. Listen and paraphrase his points, don’t attack his ideas but raise questions that suggest there may be alternatives: “It probably isn’t a viable choice but could we consider…?” “Is there a way to factor in new products” Secondly, show your respect for his competence but don’t put yourself down. Lastly, if Nigel can’t learn to consider others’ ideas, you may be wise to graciously accept a subordinate role as his “helper.” True experts deserve respect.
4. Theo Thinks-He-Knows-it-all
Theo is pretentious. He purports to be an expert and appears outwardly brimming with confidence. Theo isn’t a liar he’s just unaware of how little he actually knows. Gently confront him with the facts when he is on his own to help him ‘save face’. He simply wants to be admired.
5. Peter Pessimist
Peter has “been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and returned it” and “It won’t work”, “He tried that.” His pessimism can be toxic to everyone else as he drags them down with doubt and disappointment.
Firstly, avoid being sucked into Peter’s whirlpool of despair. Don’t argue with him and don’t immediately offer solutions to Peter’s predicted difficulties.
Instead, make optimistic statements — showing that change is possible — encourage the team to think of alternatives. Give Peter his opportunity to throw a dampener on things by asking “what’s the worst that could happen with these alternatives?”
Then turn it on it’s head in a problem-solving way. Ask, “What will happen if we do nothing?” Next welcome help to achieve it but don’t count on Peter volunteering!
6. Sally Staller
Sally delays making decisions for fear someone will be unhappy. She genuinely wants to help but can delay proceedings through her indecisive nature. Sally is sensitive and therefore a supportive approach works best Don’t make demands for quick action. Instead, help Sally examine the facts and make compromises or develop alternative plans (and decide which ones take priority). Give Sally reassurance about her decisions and support the effective carrying out of the decision.